


The End of the Black and White World

by fineinthemorning



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Cannibalism, Continuity What Continuity, Feels, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Manga Spoilers, Tokyo Ghoul: re
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-21
Updated: 2015-02-07
Packaged: 2018-03-08 11:30:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 16,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3207575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fineinthemorning/pseuds/fineinthemorning
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kaneki has finally realized that the world of humans and ghouls is not black and white. It is time to create a new world, but chaos follows him with every step. Will Japan survive the chaos he brings?<br/>This is story will remain unfinished.<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The World Knows

“Hide,” Kaneki was staring straight ahead at the set. A man with black hair and brown eyes in a navy blue suit was sitting at a desk of cherrywood, smiling at the camera as he greeted Japan and then began reviewing in brief the world’s news. What had Japan missed in the 12 hours of night that half the Earth had spent awake? Gray eyes refused to look away and continued to study the man who was all of 44 and had already captured much of Japan’s heart. He was currently the most watched news source for this early morning time slot and the NNN had been running his show for nearly twenty years. The people of Japan had come to know him, his mannerisms, his strengths- even his faults. Shugo Mizushima, the _guardian of the island_ , was more than just a news reporter; he was a legend that protected Japan by investigating and sharing the truth.

Still, Kaneki was nervous. How could he be so damn sure of something and at the same time want to run in the opposite direction and never look back?

“He’s the one,” Hide responded with a smile when he felt the half-ghoul tense beside him. When Kaneki didn’t look up, still unable to remove his eyes from the broadcaster, Hide stepped in front of him. Now, all Kaneki could see was an orange tie tucked under a crisp white collar that wrapped neatly around a neck that would always make him hungry. He looked up into Hide’s eyes quickly to appease him.  
  
“You trust me, Haise,” the blonde had bleached his hair and it was no longer the same rusted orange color it once was. It was a crisp platinum blond, and though he looked sexier for it, the suit didn’t seem to fit right with it. It almost gave him the appearance of a host, which certainly wasn’t going to do them any favors. Still, his deep chocolate eyes seemed to keep balance between the professional and the comical, and as they smiled at Kaneki in a way that was as familiar to him as the warmth of the sun on his face, he responded knowing it was by no means a question.

“With everything,” he breathed.

Hide pinched the other’s left cheek suddenly in an exaggerated display of comical affection, “Then relax!”

“Hide, damn it, we’re supposed to act like professionals!” Kaneki felt a light blush rise to his cheeks, but not because Hide was flirting. A few of the set crew was watching them curiously. Only one other person actually knew their purpose for being there, or so they were told by the prolific broadcaster, Mizushima. Only Mizushima and the CEO of the Nippon News Network or the NNN knew the real reason for this special exclusive interview that commercials had claimed would ‘Change the World’. Hideyoshi let go of Kaneki’s cheek but grinned back at him mischievously none the less. Of course, it earned a sigh and eventually a small smile from Kaneki anyway.

The crew, having been given no context for the guests other than that this particular interview would ‘Change the World’, were silently observing. They had all heard that the hair and makeup crew had regarded them as inconsequential when they’d finally met and spoken with them. However, the writers were highly curious because Mizushima had told them their assistance would not be necessary. By now, Mizushima was his own producer and director, so when the pair of nameless strangers had arrived on set that morning, the stage crew and camera operators had nothing to go off of other than this vague concept that these two were somehow important.  
  
“We’ll be right back with the man who will change the world as we know it. If you’re ready to brave a new world, you won’t want to miss this exclusive interview.” Shugo Mizushima gave his famous smile. It was something few could pull off so regularly and genuinely, a shadow of purpose in the eyes with the curved lips of a hopeful smile like someone who was speaking straight to your spirit without bothering with something as trivial as spoken language.

When he had the signal that commercials were rolling, he wasted no time in coming to greet the two. The whole crew was watching while simultaneously carrying out their normal duties.

“Nagachika-san,” he smiled genuinely at Hideyoshi. The two had already met previously, and, seeing Mizushima’s eagerness, Hideyoshi met the news reporter’s fervor by quickly introducing Kaneki.

“This is Sasaki Haise.”

Kaneki watched carefully. He was the first person to know about him from having read his book. “Sasaki-san,” their eyes met, “it is an honor meeting you,” and he bowed respectfully as a proper first meeting. When their eyes met again, he added, “Let’s work well together.” Kaneki’s eyes widened a bit and he looked suddenly at Hide for an answer. _He’s really being genuine? Can such a man in this position exist? I’m not falling under some sort of spell, am I?_

Hide answered back with his eyes. _He’s the real deal, and he wants to help us._

Kaneki returned the bow, his silver hair falling from behind his ear to join the bangs that framed his face, “Likewise, Mizushima-san. Please treat us well today.” Kaneki had done away with his white and black hair and had instead dyed it a gunmetal gray. It was symbolic in a way, and Hide seemed to take a liking to it rather quickly.

Both of them were taking a tremendous risk, and for a brief moment, each of them reflected on that. For what was about to happen, Mizushima could be sent to prison, his whole career ruined. He could even be killed. Kaneki could be killed on the spot, or an attempt at assassination was possible, anyway. Hideyoshi could be killed as well. Everything they had worked for could be shattered in an instant. The next forty minutes of their lives could be their last.

With that in mind, Kaneki had to ask a last time, knowing the nagging feeling of responsibility already tugging at him, “Mizushima-san, are you truly prepared for what this might mean?”

_I’m trusting you. I’m trusting you with so much._

“Sasaki-san . . . ,” he looked up at the stage lights with an expression that told the others that he was seeing something else, and then he met Sasaki’s gray eyes with his own brown ones, “I’ve been waiting for this moment for a long time. I’ve been waiting for _you_ for a long time.”

“One minute to stations!”

No one was approaching, but Mizushima took initiative to lead the two to the right position, just off stage, so that when he introduced them, they could enter. He then found his seat on set and stretched his arms upward with his fingers laced. It was a nervous habit of his, and it was familiar to the on looking set crew.

“Are you ready to wow the world with your talents in rhetoric?” Hide teased Kaneki to help him relax, even though he knew that it was something Kaneki was actually nervous about and something he also had no experience in. Still, they’d had this conversation many times before. Hide had reminded him, after Kaneki had the chance to tell him everything, of Banjou and Tsukiyama, of the people at Anteiku, of the Quinx. People gathered around Kaneki as a leader, because they trusted him and he was capable of having that strength; he just needed to draw it out once more . . . this time with the world watching.

Kaneki was about to make an awful pun regarding ticking clocks and rhetoric to snap back at him, but Mizushima had introduced both ‘Nagachika Hideyoshi’ and ‘Sasaki Haise’.

The two of them walked out onto the set and sat in the two chairs beside Mizushima’s desk. Mizushima had also taken a seat in a cherrywood chair outside his desk. Upstage, between Kaneki and Mizushima’s chairs was a small side table, and on it was the book Kaneki had published under the pen name, Sasaki Haise. It would be available in every bookstore that day, and it had been available for download on Amazone Books since twelve minutes ago. Its title was “The End of the Black and White World”.

“Welcome, Nagachika-san. Welcome, Sasaki-san.” Mizushima was warm. Hide was attentive. Kaneki was expressionless.

“Now,” Mizushima turned to the camera- to his audience- all of Japan, “I’m sure there are many tuning in this morning due to today’s special. I want to remind all of you that . . . I have always felt it is my duty as a reporter to share with all of you the truth. Today, I have with me two guests that are also advocates of the truth.”

“To start, Sasaki-san, could you please tell us a little more about you?”

There had been no rehearsal. Often, in shows like these, the guests were given the lists of questions they would be asked so that they’d be prepared to answer. This was not the case. Mizushima hadn’t even written questions. He had obtained the book a week prior and had been analyzing it, researching, and re-reading it ever since. Whatever was to come out of the interview would be entirely unexpected.

Finally, now that the time had come, the half-ghoul looked ready. He smiled earnestly and responded in a voice both confident and human, “Well, I’m a writer, an avid reader, and a bit of a coffee addict.” There was a beat, “And also, I’m _half ghoul_.”

There was a still silence as he closed his eyes and lowered his head slightly and then pulled his head up again, his eyes open to reveal the kakugan in his left eye.

<><><><><><><><><><><> 

Renji Yomo enjoyed Mizushima Shugo’s early morning news show, and, when time allowed, he often tuned in to the specials Mizushima would have during primetime as well. He, like many other Japanese, both human and ghoul alike, trusted the guy. So, when he had seen the ad the previous morning proclaiming today’s episode would change the world, Yomo’s interest was piqued.

He was already busy brewing coffee for the regular two or three who came in every morning when Touka Kirishima came down the stairs of the small café to begin pulling chairs off of tables and place them into their proper positions onto the floor.

She was twelve minutes late, but Renji said nothing. It was typical, and even the regular customers had adapted their own schedules to match Touka’s.

“Good morning, Yomo-san,” she said without looking at him. But she noticed, “Something interesting on Mizushima-san’s show this morning . . .?”

And that’s when she looked up and saw _him. Them. On television_. On the most watched morning show in Japan. Yomo had enough sense to set down the hot water he had been using to make the drip coffee, but not to turn up the volume. Touka snapped and dove for the remote, turning it up another twenty clicks to make sure she missed nothing.

The camera had focused on the man Touka knew as Kaneki’s face with his kakugan exposed for all of Japan to see, and he spoke, “And also, I’m half ghoul.”

_What the hell?!_

<><><><><><><><><><><> 

The ringing of the cell phone wouldn’t stop no matter how long it seemed to drill on and on. Finally, he rolled in bed, his sheets twisting into even more of a mess, and he picked it up and threw it against the wall.

It didn’t break. It kept ringing.  
  
“Amer merde!!” That stupid human had bought him one of those Peach products- the ones that claimed near indestructability. His Peach Phone 6 wasn’t a gift; he knew that now. It was a shackle keeping him chained to the damn woman forever. He understood her intentions; they had always understood each other well, but didn’t she understand now then that he just wanted to be left to himself? He just wanted to die alone. If there was nothing worth eating; there was nothing worth living for.

He rolled off the bed dramatically (What? No one was looking.) to finally answer it, and of course it was Chie Hori, “Tsukiyama-san! Turn on channel 4 right now!”

“Little Mouse, don’t you just-” He rolled onto his back on the floor, his purple bangs revealing the smooth complexion of his pale forehead.

“Just do it, Tsukiyama!”

Interest somewhat piqued by the serious tone in her voice, he crawled over to the remote, which was also on the floor, and turned the large screen TV he never used on.

What he saw was unmistakably Ken Kaneki’s eyes –one gray gorgeous beauty, and one brilliantly vicious kakugan.

“Dio immortale!!” He moved suddenly, with renewed spirit, until his face was mere centimeters from the screen.

On the other end of the line, Chie smirked. Finally, things were going to get interesting again.

<><><><><><><><><><><> 

Toru had been reading on the couch all evening, night, and early morning. He knew better than to stay up late (it wouldn’t help his anemia), and he had already noticed the morning sun fighting to get through the creases of the curtains, but he wanted a _clue_.

His superior had been gone just over two months now. The person he looked up to and respected- the one he knew as Sasaki Haise, had, after seemingly become a different person in front of the Quinx Squad’s eyes, simply disappeared. Toru wasn’t over it; he wasn’t ready to move on. Instead of feeling betrayed or abandoned like the others, he felt challenged. The image that Sasaki had left the Quinx Squad with may have been horrifying, monstrous, and even a little nightmarish, but the words had been everything. Toru’s hope was that those words would soon ring true, because the life he led now was somehow absent of the love that had been present prior. He’d never admit that word- _love_ \- especially because it was so abstract, but when the five of them were together, he knew that’s what it must have been.

Since Sasaki had left, that family had become somewhat of a tragedy. One would have thought that Akira would have stepped in to take over the responsibilities left behind by their leader, but that was not the case. In fact, her involvement with the Quinx had somehow become little more than e-mails and phone calls.

So now, here was Toru, reading the books Sasaki had left behind, knowing that though they’d make him feel closer to Sasaki, they’d never actually bring him back.

“Welcome, Sasaki-san,” the TV spoke to Toru and pulled him suddenly from his thoughts. He looked up from the Takatsuki Sen novel and stared.

There he was. He was right there. He was on TV. He had left the Quinx, left the CCG, left his self-titled family to go on television and-

Toru sucked in air subconsciously in a quick gasp. His anemia was kicking in and, as if he’d suddenly been hit with exhaustion from staying up all night; he was going to be sick.

When the black kakugan covered half the screen, he passed out, falling forward into the glass table in front of him, his forehead hitting the edge in a _thunk_ that left blood on the carpet.

<><><><><><><><><><><> 

Kishou Arima watched Mizushima Shugo’s show religiously. Truly, it was part of his early morning routine. He enjoyed the news, the interviews, and the specials over cups of coffee and a traditional Japanese breakfast of rice and miso soup.

Today wouldn’t be any different. Arima walked over to the table and clicked the remote to turn on the television. He was only half dressed and was drying his white hair with a thin towel as he walked about his apartment to make breakfast. After turning the volume up so that the television could be heard no matter what room he ended up in, he headed for the kitchen to make the soup.

“We’ll be right back with the man who will change the world as we know it. If you’re ready to brave a new world, you won’t want to miss this exclusive interview,” the TV’s words reached Arima’s ears as he added the soft tofu to the broth.

The words brought a smirk to his face. _Really, Mizushima-san? A new world, huh?_ He visibly shook his head and stirred the miso in. At times, Mizushima Shugo could sound so incredibly corny, but still, many seemed to find that rather endearing about him. There was little that the news reporter seemed embarrassed about.

Arima made sure to actually finish his breakfast preparations before the commercials over. He set each plate and glass on the coffee table in his living room and sat down just as the commercial hook ended.

Mizushima Shugo had never made a claim about changing the world. Maybe the closest he’d come was merely having guests that had. There was the one time he’d had that Noble Peace Prize winner on one of his Primetime specials. There was another time that he’d interviewed Japan’s Prime Minister at the time, Shinzo Abe. Many famous people had found themselves in Mizushima’s hot seat. This guest, however, hadn’t even been announced. The reporter had left the whole thing a mystery. It was . . . strange.

Then, it all happened quickly. He heard the names, saw the faces, and watched the kakugan appear. His hands had been holding steady a clump of white rice with chopsticks. They did not shake. The rice did not fall. Arima did not _breathe_.

He’ll never say why he did not call in to the CCG to handle the matter immediately. He’d never even admit to having seen Haisei Sasaki, the Centipede, Eyepatch, Ken Kaneki, on Mizushima’s show. He’d never even admit to watching it. He’d actually lie about being awake at all. Yes, it had been the first time in years since he had forgotten to set his alarm, since he’d slept in, since he’d been terribly late to work.

<><><><><><><><><><><> 

“Did you see that, Daddy?” a woman with the height of a grade school child giggled as she tapped curiously on glass. She pressed the tablet up to the glass, nearly breaking the fragile glass of the tablet in the process. Her eyes were wide, thrilled at the vision that played on the screen.

“Is this what you wanted? Is it what you wanted from him? Is it?” Of course, the man on the other side of the glass didn’t respond. His eyes closed and silent, save for the occasional bubble that floated from the bottom to the top of the tank, Yoshimura made no move to respond. He was dead to the world around him.

“Kaneki-kun. I haven’t forgotten about you  . . ..” she pulled the tablet away from the man suspended in the liquid on the other side of the glass and held it above her head with a grin, “What chaos you inspire!”

<><><><><><><><><><><> 

Somewhere, in a basement in Shinjuku, a clown laughed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. This story will be as close to canon as I can manage save for a divergence in TG:re and tons of headcanon and speculation for Hide after he was last seen in the sewer following the Anteiku raid.  
> This story will also be told out of order partly. The first chapter will follow the prologue but I will jump around to different time periods between TG, TG:re, and the present situation of what you found in this prologue. Hide/Kane will be a central relationship, but the focus of this work will be on Kaneki’s goals. Constructive criticism is welcome. Thank you for your time.


	2. The Interview

The set crew stared, and the camera editing crew could not seem to pull away from the camera focused on Kaneki’s eyes.

“Oh-my-God.” A buzz of whispers slowly began to emerge, but, somehow, in trust of Mizushima and faith that he would not place all of them in imminent danger, they slowly began to continue their work and the scene cut to a camera with a view of the three of them.

It was only a few seconds, after Mizushima also came to his senses, that a good-natured chuckle erupted from him, and his smile relaxed both his guests and his crew. He knew of Kaneki’s special circumstance, of course, but he had no idea that the young man would be revealing it so soon.

Hideyoshi slapped a hand to his thigh exaggeratedly and leaned forward in his chair, doing nothing to hide how irked he was, “Really? How am I supposed to even follow that?” He directed the question at Mizushima but made a hand gesture towards Kaneki who only relaxed in the seat of his chair, his kakugan not going anywhere. He was making a show of it on purpose.

 _Gods, Hide, I’m glad you’re here_. At the moment, Mizushima was likely thinking along the same lines as Kaneki. This was going to be one hell of a show.

“I’m sure the audience would be just as impressed with you, Nagachika-san. Please introduce yourself as well.” Mizushima sat upright in his chair, his elbows rested on his knees as he urged the platinum blonde jester to continue.

“Well, I graduated from Kamii University with a doctorate in Clinical Forensic Psychology, and, lucky for me, I was also admitted into the CCG’s personal training program as well about three years ago. You see, up until a few months ago, I worked for the Ghoul Countermeasures Bureau as a first class investigator.” Though he smiled, somehow, by the end of that little introduction, Hideyoshi had taken on an air of sincerity.

“Oh, Nagachika- _sensei_ , I hadn’t realized-,” Mizushima did his best to keep the tone of conversation light. The last thing he wanted to do was strike fear the in the hearts of his viewers.

“No, no, Mizushima-san, please don’t be so formal! Honestly, I would have rather studied Ghoul Psychology or ghoul biology but, funny thing, there aren’t even options at University- not even Kamii- for any sort of study involving ghouls.”

“Well, somehow, I feel that’s been mentioned before. We have limited information on ghouls, and the sources that most of the information we get comes from-”

“Hacks, like Hisashi Ogura.” Hide finished the sentence for Mizushima which earned a smile from him similar to one a mother wears when her son has said something simultaneously profane and adorable. Kaneki had actually smirked, which made him look even more intimidating with the kakugan.

“Nagachika-san . . .” Mizushima continued the mother routine with somewhat of a scold.

“No, no, no, no, no- don’t get me wrong.” Hideyoshi made a show of waving a hand defensively, “The guy brings up some interesting and basic obvious facts.” He began to tap his right index finger to his left as he counted off, “It’s true that ghouls drink coffee.” This earned a nod from Kaneki. “It’s also true that they have a higher RC cell count than humans do.” Again, Kaneki nodded. “And, of course, it’s true that to stay alive, ghouls must eat human flesh.”

Kaneki perhaps should not of, but he nodded a third time, and added, “Or the flesh of other ghouls.” This brought some gasps of horror from the set crew. _Right, that’s never been made public, then?_ Though Ogura had claimed he was a ghoul himself, it had all been for show. After his lie was confronted about a year ago, he had disappeared from the public’s eye, and none of the true researchers had stepped up to take his place. Likely, any people actually doing research on ghouls worked for the CCG anyway, which meant the CCG controlled their every move. There was hardly a network of information surrounding ghouls outside of what flowed within the walls of the CCG.

Hideyoshi didn’t even blink and just went on with his point, “I mean, I’ve read Ogura’s work myself, and it’s not bad.”

Finally, Kaneki sat up practically on the edge of his seat and joined in the conversation, “It just lacks essence.”

Mizushima looked to Kaneki, refusing to respond to the kakugan as anything beyond normal. He had to model the proper behavior for the new world that Japan would soon find itself in, “Essence?”

“Substance. Spirit.” Kaneki popped his right index finger under his thumb. “Hisashi Ogura worked as a public symbol to bring facts to the general public about the unknown- about ghouls, but what he doesn’t work as is a proper authority on the _humanity_ of ghouls.”

Again, there was a shocked silence from the set crew from the words out of Sasaki Haise’s mouth. Did he just say . . .?

Mizushima recovered without so much as a flinch, “Of course, in your book, Sasaki-san, you mention that, don’t you- the humanity of ghouls?” He turned to his guests and picked up the book from the table which, Kaneki noticed, had many tabs sticking out of the pages in random places. “One second,” he moved between the tabs, and the whole process actually embarrassed Kaneki a bit. Someone had taken such care of something he had written? “Ah, here, in the third chapter concerning ghoul psychology, you mention this same idea-

 _Ghouls are no different from humans in that they desire society, culture, and relationships. Without these fundamental human needs, ghouls are just as lost as their human counterpart. They lack a true identity and sense of self if there is no connection to the society they live in. That’s simply one of the many reasons that ghouls, who cannot be a part of their own society, choose to live in the society of humans. They share the same needs and desires as humans, and that is the fundamental reason they are able to adapt so well._ ” Mizushima looked up expectantly and a little eager to finally discuss the contents of the book with its author.

Kaneki gathered his confidence. This was a new sort of battle. “Well, think of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. Start with physiological needs at the bottom. Humans need to eat food to gain the vitamins and nutrients needed to survive and keep their body functioning. Ghouls are the same, needing the particular nutrients provided to them through human flesh, muscles, etc. The next level is safety. Lovecraft said, _the oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear_. Let me ask you this, Mizushima-san, what do humans fear most?”

“Ghouls.” He knew where this was going and didn’t miss a beat.

“So then, tell me, what do ghouls fear most?”

Mizushima looked back, knowing the answer but unable to quite explain it, “You don’t mean-?”

“Humans are quite capable of killing ghouls just as they are quite capable of killing each other, and just as ghouls are quite capable of killing one another as well.” Kaneki let the words sink in a beat, and Hide shot him an encouraging and barely noticeable smile, “Like Nagachika-san, I worked for the CCG, too, but as a Rank 1 Investigator. Killing a ghoul was not difficult. It’s as easy as breathing for some of those ranked Special Class. What the CCG forgets- and what the general public seems either ignorant of or chooses to ignore is Maslow’s third need- love and belonging. To live in the society of humans to meet their own basic needs of esteem and belonging, ghouls are actually in constant fear that their second most basic need, safety, is in danger. A human does not even have to physically harm a ghoul for a ghoul to fear them; simply having the option of exposing them as a ghoul and destroying their chance at developing relationships in a particular society is enough to end that ghoul’s life as they know it. A human can strip away a ghoul’s basic needs without laying a finger on them.”

Mizushima waited a beat for Sasaki to continue, but he seemed suddenly withdrawn as if he had stirred up a bad memory within himself, so he searched through the tabs in the book to bring up another connection. He knew the people of Japan needed more pieces of the puzzle before they could truly understand the whole picture.

“So, the way you’ve divided your book is into three parts- the first being the history of ghouls. Now, I know what I was taught as a child in school, and I’m familiar enough with today’s texts that teach our children pretty much the same thing. However, what you have written here . . . .” Mizushima looked up from the text to his half-ghoul guest, who seemed to have recovered somewhat from his spell.

“While I can promise its accuracy, I can assure you that the truth revealed about the history of the ghouls as a species will be difficult to swallow.” Haise had made a pun even when it wasn’t appropriate to do so. It told Hide he was back in the game, at least.

“Well, let’s just look at facts a moment. I know this is going to sound political, but I can promise you it’s not. Which three countries do you hear the most about ghoul violence or, better yet, which three countries, just take a guess, have the highest percentage of ghouls versus human’s in its population?” Hideyoshi was switched on. He had failed to mention his undergraduate degree had actually been in International studies. Haise couldn’t help but be moved by the way Hideyoshi’s face had lit up on this particular topic.

Mizushima sighed. He didn’t expect to be tested here on his own show, “Well, Japan, obviously. The other two . . . maybe America and England?” He was so wrapped up in the conversation, he didn’t even note that there had been no commercial break. In fact, neither had the editors. The CEO of the Nippon News Network was standing just behind one of the cameras. He had no intention of going to a commercial break, either. He’d make up for it later, though he doubted he’d need to.

“Well, the third is France, actually, but that’s okay. England is fourth, so you did well. Now, the first ghoul reported was in the 1940s in America, and then quickly following that, there were ghouls reported in Japan. Now, as Sasaki-san mentioned in _The End of the Black and White World_ , the only other place where ghoul activity had been recorded was in France, but that wasn’t until the 1960s. So,  if we think back to the 1940s-”

“-1945,” Sasaki interrupted.

“Right, if we look back at the year 1945, what happened in Japan?”

“Well, that was the end of World War II, Nagasaki and Hiroshima were-”

“Exactly, and where did those bombs come from?”

“Well, America, of course but that conspiracy theory doesn’t match with France-”

“Unless, you take a moment to look at the Joliot-Curies.”

Mizushima finally took a breath to meet Hideyoshi’s blazed eyes with confusion.

“I’m sure you’ve heard of Marie Curie and her husband, Pierre Curie, but did you know that their children went on to continue their work?” Mizushima’s expression told Hideyoshi that he needed to continue. “Those children continued what advancements they could in nuclear physics and radioactivity. However, their daughter Irene Joliot-Curie becomes pregnant with Frederic’s baby. She miscarries five times, and when she finally does have a child, it survives only on blood and human skin, has black eyes, and dies after two months of malnutrition.”

“You mean-“

“The first record of a ghoul was in 1942, France, and was the child of two generations of women who spent all of their time studying nuclear energy which did involve amounts of radiation.” Hideyoshi finishes with a bit of a grin. It meant that ghouls had existed in these three areas for about a hundred years now and they all had one thing in common.

“Just take a look at the facts. There are 105 nuclear power reactors in America. America is twenty one times the size of Japan. Guess how many nuclear reactors we have here in Japan, the country with the highest ghoul to human ratio?”

Mizushima was quiet. This bit was in the book, but it needed to be said aloud.

“Fifty four. Fifty four nuclear reactors. We can even scale it down. Let’s just compare France which is only about one and a half times bigger than Japan. . . . Thirty seven.” Nagachika’s tone was serious but his eyes were ablaze.

He relaxed in his chair and shook his head a bit. “Just looking at facts . . .”

Mizuhima followed Hideyoshi’s lead only because the subject matter was so grim. It was best to ease the audience into it and to show that it was an issue to be discussed, not dissected. No, Mizushima knew that his guests wanted the same thing for the people of Japan as he did; the three of them wanted Japan to seek out the answers for themselves.

Sasaki piped in then, “I mention also the biology of ghouls. Fundamentally, and this is public knowledge, I’m certain, they’re like humans in every way. The only thing that truly makes them different is their RC count.”

“I think I get what the two of you are saying. It is simple, then, to answer the question: where did ghouls come from? . . . . Us. We created them. What are they really? Humans changed by our bad choices.” Mizushima put it together for his audience anyway. It needed to be said out loud. He wanted to say it out loud.

“I have to ask you, because it is not in your book. You said you can promise the accuracy of the contents regarding the history and biology of ghouls. In your book, you draw evidence and knowledge from a few famous scientists who are known for making advancements in ghoul related science and discoveries but also some I have personally never heard mention of before. So, I ask you this- how can you promise that the contents of this book are true?” Mizushima laced his fingers together and locked his eyes. His audience rarely saw this gesture, but they knew it as a sign that Mizushima was more than interested in his guest or the conversation; he was invested.

“We stole it from the databases of the CCG,” Hideyoshi responded for Kaneki bluntly.

“Nagachika- _sensei_ ,” Kaneki turned to Hideyoshi with a glare etched into his face.

If they had not been on live television in front of an audience of millions, Hide would have bitten back with, ‘ _I like it when you call me sensei_ ,’ but now was not the time.

It was rare that Mizushima lost his cool, and he somewhat felt himself unraveling a bit on the edges, but it didn’t matter; this could be his last show anyway, “You stole it?”

“I’m sure Sasaki-san would love to detail our adventures in another book in the future, but, essentially, we hacked into the complete database of the CCG roughly two months ago, and gathered everything from crime records to bank statements, laboratory discoveries to secret government funded projects. We took everything.”

“To write this book?”

“To share with you. To share with them,” Hide nodded in the direction of the camera crew inferring all that were watching.

After a beat, Kaneki spoke up again after popping a finger or two, “Mizushima-san, while it is true that the CCG has been hiding a great deal from the public, I want to ask that you and all of you to not place your hatred in them.” When Haise had said, _all of you_ , he had looked directly into the camera.

He stood up and walked in front of the other two, taking steps down stage that the camera crew had to immediately respond and adapt to. He wasn’t sure what was coming over him, but he felt like this was the right moment, “Love is understanding. In America, during the Civil Rights movement lead by Dr.Martin Luther King Jr., Dr. King said that _when you rise to the level of love, you seek only to defeat evil systems. Individuals who happen to be caught up in that system, you love, but you seek to defeat the system._ The CCG isn’t the best system, but it’s not the system which we must defeat. Right now, the system controlling all of us is one we bow before every day. It is the system that allows us to watch the news about another ghoul extermination or another death and count it as a win for society. It is the system that allows us to go to school or work every day with the idea that safety means a world absent of someone who could possibly be your doctor, or your teacher, your employee, or your best friend. It is a system we accept and allow every day of our lives. I used to be a part of this same system myself. I was once partly responsible for the existence of this system.” Kaneki closed his eyes, releasing the kakugan, so that when he opened them again, he looked entirely human.

“The system is ignorance. The person responsible for that system is you.”

He didn’t even notice Mizushima beside him now, ““I want to finish Lovecraft’s words from earlier,” he turned to Kaneki, “-the ones you mentioned, Sasaki-san.” Miszushima put a hand on Haise’s shoulder and Haise couldn’t help but be impressed with the man all over again. He was treating a half-ghoul with such kind familiarity.

 “ _The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown_.” He let it sink in a brief moment, hoping that some of his viewers were putting the pieces together themselves, “I understand this, and these gentlemen here today understand this, which is why we seek to share what we know.

I’m sure many of you are aware of the risks I’m taking now. This may very well be my last show with all of you, but yet, I felt that this moment I could share with all of you today was worth that much to me. The contents of Sasaki-san’s book _The End of the Black and White World_ will shock you and you may remain skeptical for years to come, but what I ask of you is that you read it. Only by learning more information can you make a decision for yourself of what you believe to be true. I’m not asking you to trust it or even accept it; I just want you to listen.

You owe that to yourself as a human being who shares the world with a species that carries just as much compassion in their hearts as you.”

He stepped aside so that he could look Kaneki directly in the face, “Sasaki-san, thank you.”

“And thank you, Mizushima-san.” Hideyoshi took the cue and repeated Kaneki’s words to their pleasant host. Was time already up then?

“Nagachika-san, thank you.” Hideyoshi, in a well-meaning western gesture, took Mizsushima’s hand and shook it firmly just once like he’d seen many American politicians do. He felt he understood the gesture a bit more after this interview.

With that, the two guests took their leave, but noticed that Mizushima wasn’t moving. Off the set now, with the camera crew keeping a comfortable distance from them, the couple watched as Mizushima took center stage. He was wearing that same serious yet comforting smile that he had before Hide and Ken had gone on stage.

“With the possibility of this being my last show, there is something I must share with all of you. . . .” His smile melted slightly into sadness, “I know most of you were not expecting this. I’m sure that, after this, many of you, should my show continue, may no longer tune in. I knew all the risks I would be taking having our guests here with us this morning. I want to tell you why I did this.” Suddenly, his eyes were glassy, shining almost with tears. He turned his back to the camera and returned to his desk to sit, placing his palms down on the cool wood surface before gathering the strength to look up.

Hide stepped behind Kaneki to drape his arms over his shoulders and rest his nose in the silver hair. He never took his eyes off of Mizsushima. Kaneki couldn’t break his gaze from the news reporter, either. It felt like they’d become friends in the span of forty minutes.

“The truth is . . . I-I haven’t been entirely honest with all of you regarding one detail of my life.  . . . Fifteen-” Mizsushima looked away from the camera and stared at his desk a moment. He had never, not once, shown this kind of emotion on set before. “Fifteen years ago, I was absent from the early morning time slot, because I had lost my wife.” It was a fact. Those who knew him well knew his wife had died in a car accident and that he had taken a leave of absence for three months. “Chiyono and I had been together for two years, but we had only been married about two months. I brought her on the show once, and I remember afterwards, she had received so much fan mail- far more than I had over a single show- and she had spent hours trying to respond to every letter- She-”

Kaneki reached up suddenly to grab Hide’s hand, and Hide responded immediately by holding it tightly. They were thinking along the same lines. They knew what would come next.

“She didn’t die in a car accident; she was killed by the CCG for being a ghoul. I was absent . . . all of that time, because . . . I was being questioned and was tried with harboring a criminal.” He recovered suddenly, now that the truth was out. “I managed to make them believe I was ignorant of her being a ghoul, but the truth was, I knew, and I loved her in spite of. She never treated anything with cruelty. She loved all animals. She adored children; if any of you remember, she taught 1st grade. She . . . she loved the outdoors, and it took time, but I gradually understood why Aokigahara was her favorite hiking spot. She was the love of my life, and I will never forget her last words to me.” Using every bit of courage he had left in himself, he went on, “She told me, _I thought being born into this world was a sin until I met you._ ”

The silence was heavy in the room and Kaneki was fighting the urge to hide his face in Hide’s chest. He wanted to show Mizushima every amount of respect he could, so he kept his eyes fixed.

“Sasaki-san’s _The End of the Black and White World_ affirmed that Chiyono was not the only ghoul feeling this way; she was not the only one that could show more compassion and more humanity within herself than many other _humans_ could.

We have been fighting . . . since the dawn of time. Humans have fought humans. Adolf Hitler was no ghoul, and yet he was responsible for more deaths than any ghoul thus far has even attempted. I ask you, all of you, to defeat the system you’ve found yourselves in.

Some of you may label yourselves as ghouls, and some of you may label yourselves as humans, but in my eyes, and hopefully, in all eyes someday soon, we are all Japanese.” Mizushima used the word to mean people of Japan, a word that didn’t distinguish between human or ghoul.

After a moment, there was a slow and deliberate clap, and, without thinking, the camera man that had been nearest to Sasaki and Nagachika panned over to find the source.

It was the CEO of the station. He was clapping alone in support of the vision that Mizushima saw, in support of the world Ken and Hide wanted to create, in support of the world Japan had now found itself- absent of stark contrasts between species.

Soon, Hide and Ken pulled apart and also began clapping, a few crew members followed suit, and after a mere thirty or so seconds, nearly every person in the studio, as if overcome by the words spoken in those mere forty minutes had cast a spell, were all clapping, cheering, and ushering in a new day and a new page in history.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your responses so far! They gave me lots of motivation to run with. Obviously, the bit about Marie Curie's family is not true, but, surprisingly, the bit about the number of nuclear power plants in Japan is. Kinda makes me want to cry.  
> Obviously, all of this ghoul stuff is just crazy speculation and an attempt to make the idea of this 'movement' more possible; none of that is canon.  
> This chapter was dialogue heavy, but I promise this will likely be the only one. I will now begin hopping around through different time lines. Also, the Sasaki/Tsukiyama tag wasn't a tease. That'll be happening about a month after this chapter takes place though, so it will be slow getting there. When I return to this day, I'll be hopping over to the Quinx, but I'm curious, which characters are you all most excited to see? Thank you!


	3. Traitor - Part 1

Roughly Three Years Earlier

<><><><><><><><><><><><> 

“Special Class Arima-san?” Hideyoshi spoke into his phone quietly, unaware of all that was going on around Arima on the other line. Screams echoed down the vast emptiness of the sewers, but Hide’s voice could still be heard.

“You found him.” It wasn’t a question. Hideyoshi should have no other reason for calling him.

“He’s in the sewer in Sanchome- Around where Sumiyoshi and Sensakuradoori cross. Outside V14. He isn’t moving quickly. I think he’s injured.” That was enough, right? Did he have to include that he was broken? That his mind was shattered? That he was fighting a losing battle?

Special Class Arima didn’t respond; he was miffed that Nagachika knew about V14 and simply hung up and Hideyoshi only heard a dead tone on the line. He hung up quickly and gripped the phone in a brief moment of weak self-hatred for making the phone call before tucking it into a pocket and walking forward towards the strangled screams of his best friend. He was having to trust someone else with the fate of his most important person.

He steadied himself mentally. In this moment, he needed to be more than Kaneki’s friend; he needed to be his strength.

<><><><><><><><><><><><> 

“Nagachika-san, I want to make a deal with you,” Arima’s fingers were laced together as his elbows rested on the top of his desk. He put his lips on his laced fingers, then his chin, then pulled them apart entirely and grabbed his pen to begin writing something down. He was about to do something outside of his authority, but he was well trusted, so it wouldn’t be too much of a problem.

Nagachika continued his innocent act and placed a hand behind his head to offer nervous embarrassment, “Special Class Arima-san, I don’t see how I could possib-”

Arima’s eyes met and locked Nagachika’s, “I know what you are capable of. Unlike the others, I also know your true potential. I want you trained as an investigator.” _Delivery boy?_ Gray eyes searched brown ones. He didn’t have time to prattle.

Nagachika laughed suddenly, not letting go of his act, “Special Class Arima-san, surely this is a joke; I don’t have the qualifications for-“

“And I want you working under me.” Arima was stern and his eyes did not move from Nagachika’s.

Nagachika, unfamiliar with such an assault of power from such a simple action, went quiet. This was more than a man. He didn’t seem to fear anything. The legends were true, then? This was a death god wearing the skin of a human? His cold eyes were the same shade of gray as Kaenki’s but they lacked the same purity.

He tried smiling again, finally getting defensive, “Why do you think that I would-“

“I can promise your friend’s safety.”

“You have a habit of interrupting people, Arima-san?” He tried to tease the death god, but Arima ‘s gaze was unflinching through the lenses of his glasses. It unsettled Nagachika. It meant that he couldn’t sway the man; it reminded him of 1st Class Investigator Akira. Arima would be a tough one to crack, but Nagachika would manage it . . . over time . . . now that it seemed they would be seeing a lot more of each other very soon.

“What have you been able to do for him thus far, since this all happened nearly a year ago?” Arima wasn’t one to mince his words; he didn’t have time. He knew what Nagachika’s answer would be anyway.

Nagachika was quiet. That was a low blow. Nagachika understood his place in Kaneki’s life at this moment. It didn’t seem like a pivotal role, but it was. He was Kaneki’s constant.

Arima was confident of Nagachika’s positive response, but he had to wait to hear it before he could start up the paperwork. He wanted him on the field for the Anteiku raid. He was sure the Centipede would show.

“I want your help, Nagachika-san. Help me find him, and I promise I will keep him safe within the CCG.”

“You think you can take him?” Nagachika’s smile was broken now; this god among men was not faltering in any way. Arima had everything planned, and Nagachika wasn’t familiar with being someone else’s pawn. It made him nervous . . .  but it was true . . . this was his best option.

The question earned a blasé look from the white haired man.

Nagachika still wasn’t saying anything, so Arima pulled his final card, “If you’re with us; he’ll be more likely to cooperate with us. He’s more valuable to us alive than dead. I _need_ your help.” That was it. Arima wouldn’t say anything else; he’d already said too much. _Just say yes, Nagachika._

“I have some conditions.” His tone was firm, but his face had relaxed. If Arima wanted to be all business, he could do that; it just took warming up to. Nagachika had only met him twice before, but apparently it was enough for the death god to see through everything about him, or at least a great deal. Nagachika felt naked, but he did his best to not let it affect him.

“I will become an investigator and work for the CCG if I can continue my studies at Kamii, the CCG pays my tuition, and during my time undergoing training as an investigator, I don’t have to live in the trainee dorms. Also, I want your word that he won’t be sent to Cochlea.” Nagachika didn’t want to be watched. He knew he would be if he were to stay in the dorms.

“The first two, you have. I can’t do anything about the trainee dorms. Consider it the trial period in which you are earning my trust. As for the last request, I can’t promise anything, because I have no power over that decision, but what I can promise is that I will do everything I can to keep him out of there. If he is with me, he’ll be unable to make any sort of trouble, and I can prove that to them.” The confidence that dripped from his words was suffocating and though they both needed each other for different reasons, it intimidated Hideyoshi.

“Why are you so interested in him.?” Nagachika didn’t understand. He couldn’t read him. Not yet.

“He’s half ghoul. That’s all.” Arima adjusted his glasses.

_Is it really, Arima-san?_

<><><><><><><><><><><><> 

Hide watched his friend twist and turn in fear, suffering with the knowledge that he might not be dreaming, but also could be- suffering that he didn’t know what was or wasn’t real. The scene was crushing Hideyoshi inside. He’d never seen Kaneki like this- not the kagune splitting out of his back or the kakuja covering his face; he’d never seen him in so much pain.

_Kaneki . . ._

“That’s a nasty wound.” Up close, Hide could see part of Kaneki’s body just _missing. Gods, Kaneki._ He couldn’t imagine what his life had been like these last few months, what his world had been like, or what his soul had-

Hideyoshi knew enough about ghouls by now to understand what Kaneki needed. He understood that there was only one way he could help him in this moment. He gently pulled him close, careful, knowing that any wrong move could send him screaming again. He took a deep breath, trusting Kaneki unconditionally even though Kaneki hadn’t done so for him. He slipped a hand behind his head, his fingers sinking through soft strands, and pressed Kaneki’s mouth into his shoulder gently holding him in a supportive embrace.

“Sorry, can you fight with all you’ve got just one more time?”

Kaneki was sobbing when he bit down, tearing through clothing, skin, and muscle.

_Eat. Eat. He needed to eat. He had to eat. Eat. Eat to live._

It was painful, but Hide knew it was nothing compared to what Kaneki had already been through, maybe more than once, maybe regularly. Was this the pain he felt regularly? Was this anywhere near what was normal for him? Hide refused to scream, but he couldn’t keep from crying from the pain as flesh was ripped from his neck, shoulder, and chest. It was worse than the time with Nishiki, his upperclassman. It was worse than anything he’d ever experienced yet all he could think was that whatever he felt now had to be miniscule compared to what Kaneki went through regularly.

When Kaneki stopped suddenly, Hide’s left ribs were exposed, and Kaneki knew that behind there his lunges with shivering with every breath- his heart was beating there- _right there_. Kaneki suddenly began screaming, tears streaming, messily flying in every direction as he shook uncontrollably.

“Hide. Hide. Hide. Hide! _Hide!_ ” His heart. Hide’s heart was right there. The only one. The only heart that accepted him- accepted _all_ of him. Human. Ghoul. Powerless. Ignorant. Weak. Selfish. He still was here, offering his own flesh. _Offering his own flesh, unconditionally_. _Wanting nothing in return_.

“Hiiiide! No! No! No! _No! No! No!_ ” Kaneki slammed his head into the cement below suddenly with every bit of self-hated he had in that moment. He was out.

Hide tried to reach for his friend, his bloodied hand falling in the other’s white hair. “It’s o-kay . .  Kan-ne-ki . . .” He fell forward beside him, passing out.

<><><><><><><><><><><><> 

Arima found the two together, and, knowing that the ghoul would have no problem healing, he picked up the other and moved quickly to pass him off to another investigator, “Get him help. I’ll handle this.” The other left and Arima went back into the sewer to face the Centipede.

<><><><><><><><><><><><> 

Roughly Three Years Later, 3 Months Before the Interview

<><><><><><><><><><><><> 

Arima stared at the transfer request that had been placed on his desk. It was finally time, then, was it? Nagachika had done everything Arima had asked of him. He was thumbing through the paperwork when Nagachika walked in. Arima closed the file.

“I got wind of your promotion. Congratulations, First Class Nagachika-san.” Arima greeted his pupil. For the past year, Nagachika had been working in another ward, so they hadn’t seen each other in some time.

“Why thank you, Arima-san.” Nagachika gave a bit of a mocking salute and smiled. He had aged quite a bit in the span of three years. His hair was long enough now to be tied behind his head in a thin ponytail, but his bangs were still wild like orange flames around his face.

“And you’re graduating early from Kamii?” Arima shouldn’t have expected less from Nagachika.

“Kishou-san.”

Arima was about to reprimand him, his eyes becoming tense when Nagachika addressed him with such familiarity. No one used his first name, not even Taishi. But then, he saw Nagachika’s expression. He couldn’t even quite place the emotions that were playing out across the man’s face. He had been watching Nagachika so long. Every mention of Kaneki had sparked a flame inside those dark eyes, and every mention of Haise had pulled some sort of hope to their darkness like a candle being lit. This time, however, his expression was completely transparent to his true feelings. It was a pain that Arima himself didn’t understand, one that he knew could not be explained or named. Something . . . _unconditional-_

“He has a way of inspiring others to follow him, doesn’t he?” The pain went away just as quickly as it had come and Nagachika was smiling like a man who knew every secret the world had to offer and found nothing cruel in any of them, “He has a way of _inspiring_ love in others.”

Arima knew from the beginning what level of devotion Nagachika had for his childhood friend, but he had not thought of Nagachika’s _faith_ in Kaneki. It had changed over these last three years, hadn’t it? He believed Haise was more than human or ghoul; Nagachika believed Haise was someone who could take their place among the stars, no, someone who could bring down the stars himself and redistribute them in the night sky as he saw fit.

The older man did more than look away; he turned around completely, showing Nagachika only his back. He believed it, too. _He knew it, too._

He shut his eyes tightly and opened them again, attempting to refocus but unable to. He thought back to when he’d first met Kaneki in the sewer. In his madness, he had recited something as beautiful as a poem. When he had met him again, then a white haired boy without a name or history, he had smiled at Arima with an innocence and kindness that was not something learned in the world of men or in the world of ghouls. When that nameless boy had introduced himself as Haise, he could remember the nervous smile he’d worn, something so desperate for acceptance and affection but at the same time ready to give it in troves.

_Inspiring love . . ._

He did love Haise Sasaki. No, not in the way Nagachika did, but still it was that emotion all the same. He wanted to protect Haise. In the same turn; he wanted to watch Haise grow stronger. He wanted to be there with Haise to congratulate him when he succeeded, and he wanted to give him quiet advice and encouragement when he failed. He wanted Haise to be _whole_. . . He secretly did want Haise to be whole, but not at the cost of his happiness now. He was happy now, _wasn’t he_?

He cleaned his face of emotion and turned back to Nagachika to see that he had been watching him all that time.

“I’ll approve your transfer to the 1st ward . . . to work with the Quinx, because-“ he gave in, “because I trust that you will always have his best interests in mind.”

_You will see how happy he is. You will see what the CCG has done for him, what his position as the leader of the Quinx squad has done for him, what I have done for him . . ._

Nagachika saluted and returned his typical grin, “Understood! You won’t regret it, Special Class Arima.”

Finally, Arima sighed, “Just get out of here, Nagachika.”

“Of course, sir. Enjoy your afternoon!” When Nagachika turned to leave, he felt a smirk rise to his face. It had been a long time coming, but he had finally gotten through to Kishou Arima or so _he thought . . ._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the random pieces. I felt like they were necessary. This is part 1 of what happened between Hideyoshi and and Arima in the past. The next chapter will detail Hideyoshi and Ken's departure from the CCG. I know Arima appears soft here; I promise that won't last forever. :x Thank you all for your support, and please let me know what characters you are interested in seeing!


	4. Interlude: How to Write and Publish a Book in Three Months

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, thank you Ishida-san, for waiting this long to tell us that ghouls have been around for centuries. FML, whatever, this fic is now AU. I tried. Haha~ Also, I realized that :RE is two years after the Anteiku raid, but the main time line for this is three years after, instead. I'm going to leave it that way. Everyone is a year older. /shrug
> 
> Also, I'm having a writer's block for Chapter 4 writing Arima and Amon. I need to get down how Hide and Ken leave the CCG and how Kaneki regains his memories. T-T Eventually.
> 
>  
> 
> In the mean time, please enjoy the interlude~!

Interlude: Writing a Book in Two Months  
  
“Hide, you said I wasn’t your first before,” Kaneki was sitting cross-legged on the floor, his laptop screen covered in a river of text that he was slowly causing to cascade further down the screen. He was typing away at the third section of his book. It was the easier one for him; it didn’t need as much factual evidence that the other two needed. It required what Kaneki himself had experienced and seen.

Hide looked over from his place on the couch above Kaneki. Was he really able to write a book and bring up this sort of conversation at the same time?

“Well, I _loved_ you first,” Hide remarked casually and brushed it aside with a smile before getting back to his reading. It was about the nine-thousandth time that Kaneki had interrupted him. He was unable to concentrate on the data that flashed across his own laptop screen with Kaneki’s constant distractions. It was Hide’s job to sift through all of the thousands of documents in the CCG’s database for the golden nuggets that Kaneki would reference in his book. This was not an easy task, even for someone who read and learned as quickly as Hide did, and that was saying something, considering he’d made such quick work of a six year degree.

And he _had_ loved Kaneki first. Actually, he had only ever loved Kaneki. It just . . . took a while to realize that. He’d dated that one girl in high school briefly only to realize that not only did he spend more time thinking about Kaneki, but also that girls didn’t really do anything for him. Then, mostly out of curiosity, he’d been with that guy, but even then, while his sexuality may have been confirmed, he certainly realized that he had to accept that only one person would ever fully occupy his thoughts and claim ownership over his heart. Kaneki was his morning and night. He was in everything beautiful Hide experienced throughout the day. “Well, I honestly, I should say _only_ ,” he added as he clicked closed a few files, “I’ve _only_ ever loved you.” He was blushing but refused to take his eyes off of the screen in front of him.

“ _Hide_ ,” the half ghoul’s eyes were searching him just beyond Hide’s view from his laptop. Kaneki’s eyes were half-lidded in a dazed lust that Hideyoshi had already become familiar with in the short two weeks since they had left the CCG and begun their new battle. It was an expression he had never seen on his best friend’s face for something around twelve years, but now, even with that growl in his voice and mischief in his eyes, it was just another plea from his insatiable boyfriend for his needs to be met.

“Really, Ken? _Really_?” Hide spoke his mind aloud, an eyebrow rising in skeptical annoyance. Hide could count the hours on one hand since they’d last made love.

“I like seeing you frustrated.” A smile curved on Kaneki’s face.

“You shouldn’t openly admit that.” Really, even now, Hide had to teach him everything about relationships. Granted, this was Kaneki’s first, and after sex had entered Hide’s other two, very brief, relationships, Hide had ended things, so Hide didn’t have much more experience with it either. Truthfully, it didn’t matter. They’d had over ten years to develop their own personal relationship; this was just a new chapter.

“I like it when you have that expression, too, like you’re annoyed with me. It’s new.” Kaneki’s eyes didn’t change, but his smile grew and it reminded Hide of the playful gentleness of Haise- albeit, an incredibly horny Haise. It was true that in the time they’d known each other, they had rarely fought, but it shouldn’t have been a new expression. Inwardly, Hide’s heart ached a moment; every now and again there were signs that Ken didn’t actually remember everything. The CCG had worked wonders on him. There were possibly memories he would never again be able to retrieve. It was frustrating that he could remember the pain and details of his torture, but he couldn’t remember when Hide had made his birthday cake out of mud and sand when he had turned eight.

Kaneki noticed the look in Hide’s eyes. His expression hadn’t really changed, but it almost seemed as if they’d become a shade darker. Kaneki knew he had said something wrong. He thought all of his memories had come back, but Hide had admitted, just once, that Kaneki’s reality was a little off from what had actually happened. Though he had only been speaking to Hide since his memories had returned, he felt as though all of his memories as a ghoul were still intact, while his memories as a human now felt like crumpled pieces of paper he was having to continually attempt to iron out over and over again. He tried to take solace in the fact that he remembered anything. His mother. Hide. The things he had found joy in then. At least he remembered those things.

“. . . So it is. Ken- really, we need to-” It’s not that Hide didn’t enjoy speaking to Kaneki, or being close to him, or being _one_ with him; he just knew that they were not in a circumstance that allowed for time to do so . . . _so often_. Attempting to act in Kaneki’s interest, Hide knew the book needed to be published as soon as possible. Only then could Kaneki return to the CCG to retrieve the Quinx, only then could he return to :re, and only then could he seek out his followers, his friends, the people whom he loved and who loved him.

Yes, he had forgotten something. Hide’s tone told him. Kaneki felt a warmth blossom in his chest. Their relationship had changed so much since they had met in the sewers all that time ago. Hide was more honest with him. He showed him how clever he was capable of being. And Kaneki, himself, had shown him new parts of his soul he hadn’t known he was capable of- the ghoul side of him . . . the pleasant strength of Haise. Kaneki Ken was all of those people now. Hide was the sunshine from his childhood, the comfort and peace of his life as a human, and the constant reminder of his humanity when he was a ghoul. Now, Hide had also shown him his insecurities, his fears, his desires. In these two weeks they had learned every facet of one another, but they were still working on understanding them.

“Hide, I like everything about you.” That same friendly lust was staring at him.

 _He is so damn cute._ Hide felt a snap in his self-restraint somewhere. His best friend had always been cute, but with the added confidence he had now as a ghoul, as a leader, as a CCG Rank 1 Investigator, he had developed an incredible amount of sex appeal as well.

“Really? Even the fact that I’m about ready to break this laptop over your head because you seem to be more interested in having sex with me than its contents?” Hide threatened with a feigned sarcasm as a blush began to rise to his own cheeks. There was a clear underlying warmth to his tone, even when he used sarcasm. The worst part is that now that everything was out- both Kaneki’s “secret” and Hide’s feelings, Kaneki was now well aware of just how much power he held over Hide.

“You don’t like that I enjoy having sex with you?” Kaneki knew better, but he just wanted to hear the words from his lover’s lips. It was more fun that way, and it turned him on. Maybe it was selfish, but when he had finally realized his own feelings for Hide, he also realized that he enjoyed, more than anything else in this world, being _loved_ by Hide.

“Ken, man, of course I like that, but we can’t be having it two-three-four times a day!” So cute. How could Kaneki still be this cute even with that look on his face?

“Why not?” He was grinning now and he appeared angelic in his smile; Hide knew the demons in his words.

Their first few days together had been nothing short of Heaven for Hide. He had received everything he’d ever wanted- Ken’s trust and Ken’s love. They’d spent their time tangled together, lazily sharing in each other’s confessions, laughing over shared memories, and passionately discovering one another’s body. It was difficult to focus on work knowing that Heaven was something obtainable now . . . whenever he or Kaneki so desired. These many years of patience had all been worth it.

“We have _work_ to do!” Not to mention, Hide simply did not have the stamina that Kaneki had. Hide’s blush was several shades pinker. Still, there was nothing he loved more in this world than Ken Kaneki.

“My thoughts _rise_ to dirty places when you blush like that.” Still grinning, Kaneki felt himself growing desperate to get his hands on his lover’s flesh. There was nothing more perfect in this world than Hideyoshi Nagachika.

Hide smirked at the terrible pun. He was glad that Kaneki regaining his memories didn’t mean him losing his ability to still smile. He had read his files, but the CCG had no knowledge of what had actually happened to him during his time as a prisoner of Aogiri. When Kaneki had told him, he hadn’t been strong enough himself to hold back his own tears.

“When did I become the serious one? What are you doing to me?” The blush was intense now and Hide’s attempts at indifference towards Kaneki’s needs were growing weaker.

“Well, I know what I _did_. . . .  I bit you where-” a pillow met Kaneki’s face, and as it fell, it revealed the other new expression Hide had gotten used to seeing, the mischievous smirk of pure unaltered lust.

“And I licked you all alon-” Another pillow. Hideyoshi was now blushing up to his ears. He never expected Kaneki to have this much power over him, even just with words.

“And I used my ka-”

“Enough!” Hideyoshi felt hot with wont.

Kaneki closed the lid of Hide’s laptop, picked it up and set it below on the tatami. Then, he proceeded to move onto the couch, straddling his dearest friend casually, leaning down to whisper, “Tell me again.” He pulled away to watch his lover through his bangs, his gray eyes stared into Hide’s copper hues.

Hideyoshi finally gave in, smiling softly with his lips and gently with his eyes. As vulgar as Kaneki seemed to take pleasure in being, what still proved to be his biggest turn on were simply words. Hideyoshi enjoyed learning every bit of the ghoul within Kaneki; he enjoyed the traces of Haise that would always remain. However, he had always had faith in the simple fundamentals that Ken Kaneki had operated on for the majority of his life- the ones Hide knew best.

“I’ve always loved you, Ken.” _Honestly._

“How long will you go on loving me?”

“Always. I’ll never stop.” _Even if it kills me._

“Even if-”

“Even if you became the devil himself.” It was a reference to a Western faith, but he knew Kaneki read enough Western literature to understand it.

“ _Hide_.” There it was again- that growl of desire.

Since Kaneki’s memories had returned, they’d maybe had sex upwards of twenty times? That was roughly two or three times a day. It was like they were newlyweds or something. He’d unleashed a monster- a curious monster, an experimental monster, a monster that seemed to see no harm in trying anything and everything. He’d given. He’d received. He’d used kagune, albeit incredibly carefully. He’d gotten creative. The only thing they hadn’t really messed with were any sort of toys, and that was mostly because they couldn’t really go out in public together at the moment. Under normal circumstances, he was sure that Kaneki would have already insisted they try any number of them in any number of ways.

Hide felt the same desire growing inside him. Was it a miracle or did his body just obey Kaneki’s every wish now- no matter how impossible it seemed?

“Ken, if we do this now, then-”

Kaneki’s expression.

The blonde was speechless. Wasn’t Hide supposed to be offering some sort of ultimatum here?

Hide closed the distance between their lips, his body acting on its own. Kaneki returned the kiss with equal fervor. They greedily tasted one another, mouths opening simultaneously to pull themselves closer together.

He’d tasted Kaneki so many times, but still, his tongue wanted to discover more, wanted to touch and travel and taste until he could recreate all of Kaneki’s mouth by memory alone. He’d kissed him so many times in these two weeks, but he had years to make up for. He was only grateful that Kaneki felt the same way, never shying away from an invitation to cuddle, or be held, to just be touched, or to be kissed.

Hide had only been wearing boxers in the first place, but Kaneki had been fully clothed in a shirt and slacks. It put Hide at a disadvantage as far as accessing skin, however. Kaneki’s fingernails were already raking up Hide’s abs and across his chest to rest gripped into his shoulders. It sent a shudder though him and he opened his mouth and broke the kiss to gasp.

Kaneki gave a sudden, deep kiss that lingered just long enough for Hide to respond, before he pulled away, a smirk showing he was enjoying his teasing.

“ _Ken_ -” And then teeth were grazing Hide’s neck, gentle still. Hide responded fervently to attention paid to his neck. However, it always made Kaneki feel on edge. For all the things they had tried, the half-ghoul was still terribly careful with his teeth. He _enjoyed_ tasting Hide, but one wrong move could cause him to lose faith in himself. He knew Hide loved him, now. He knew Hide would do anything for him- even offer his own life, so Kaneki had to be careful not to betray that trust. He had to be good for him. He had to be everything Hide wanted and needed. Was it still selfish of him if he felt better himself knowing that he was making Hide happy? Besides, there was also the fact that Kaneki had trouble distinguishing between the two ecstasies he felt from tasting his friend’s blood. Having never been with anyone prior to Hide, he was still confused if the infliction of pain on his lover was something he enjoyed as a ghoul who survived on humans or as a human with certain _kinks_. He knew it fell into the category of ‘things I should discuss with Hide’, but for all they had shared so far, he was too shy to quite have that conversation.

Hide’s breathing hitched and he grabbed for Kaneki to come closer still to him, his hands feeling and touching to reach underneath the band of his slacks to grip at his rear, pressing his lover further into his lap. With Hide’s neck now wet with saliva, Kaneki pulled away to respond to Hide’s hands and grinded meaningfully against Hide, feeling him beneath the fabric of his boxers.

“ _Un-_ “ Hide’s eyes were closed as he smiled at the sensation shamelessly enjoying the attention he was receiving.

He didn’t expect to feel Kaneki slipping away then, feeling teeth on his neck, then his collarbone, then his chest- his left nipple suddenly, which warranted a hiss, his abs, his stomach. Kaneki’s hands were pulling the boxers down and sliding them just enough for Hide’s length to come out from the folds of fabric. It still wasn’t fully erect, but Kaneki was eager to rectify this.

“Ken?” He hadn’t expected Kaneki to do this. If Kaneki was the one who was aching for intimacy, why was he only focused on pleasuring him?

Hide looked down to see the half-ghoul looking up at him wontingly with one gray eye and one black sclera, drool dripping from the right side of his mouth, his lips already a shade more red than usual. He was this aroused simply from these small touches? Had he been holding back? Hide blushed madly as he watched Kaneki lick his still flaccid penis slowly from the base to the tip, breathing warmth as he teased the tip with the tip of his tongue. Hide arched, his own tongue slipping from his mouth as he subconsciously desired to do the same to his lover.

Kaneki noticed, and he stopped what he was doing to take in his friend’s expression. A thought crossed his mind concerning a certain sexual position they hadn’t tried yet. Truthfully, they hadn’t tried many. Kaneki wasn’t completely positive how it worked, but he figured it was pretty simple.

As Ken pondered his options, Hide came to his senses and looked down at him, “Something wrong?”

Instead of answering, Kaneki smirked as he pulled the boxers all the way down Hide’s legs, fingernails making white trails on skin as he pulled. He tossed the boxers aside and backed up some.

“Ken?” Hide didn’t understand what was happening.

Without warning, Kaneki grabbed Hide’s ankle and then pulled him to the tatami floor in one quick yank. Hide’s butt hit hard, but luckily, they had an older temporary apartment so the tatami cushioned his fall. He head was also okay, because it hit the cushioned seat of the couch.

“Ken- what-” Hide didn’t really care for surprises during their intimate moments, and it was frustrating a little, because he was well aware that Ken knew that. However, it was very clear in the two weeks that they had been intimate that Kaneki rather enjoyed surprising Hide and catching him off guard. They’d actually discussed it and Ken had replied sheepishly that he just couldn’t help himself sometimes and that he’d make an effort. _Yeah, right._ Now, Hide’s neck was resting on the cushioned seat of the couch and his legs were bent on either side of Kaneki. Still wearing that smirk, Kaneki moved lower to lay on his stomach slightly, with his knees bent so that his butt was somewhat up in the air. It gave his own length room if he needed to reach for it. With his elbows bent and his chin resting in his palms, his face was eye-level with Hide’s erection.

When he smiled mischievously up at Hide from this position, the blonde immediately looked away out of sheer embarrassment. How could Kaneki make something so simple so incredibly sexy?

He felt Kaneki’s breath on him, going between hot and cold just to watch Hide’s facial expressions. Yes, he was nearly always curious and manipulative during their intimate moments, but Hide knew it was out of his boyfriend’s desire to know what Hide liked best. It didn’t make it any less embarrassing, however.

The half-ghoul began using his tongue again, and as Hide quivered, his hands ended up on Hide’s ankles to pin them in place. Hide’s hands found their way immediately into white hair doing a combination of gripping and stroking as Kaneki worked his tongue around the head.

Hide stretched a bit, pressing himself into Kaneki’s mouth. Ken responded favorably, opening his mouth to take Hide in, and using his lips to massage.

The blonde let out a moan of pleasure as Kaneki took him in and began to take him further down his throat. The sensation was enlightening as Kaneki shaped his lips and tightened his mouth to increase the pleasure. He was already getting better, and he knew it; Hide’s moans and gasps proved it. Hide looked down again at the lewd sight, but then immediately shut his eyes and pressed his lips into a thin line. It was too much. His legs attempted to move around to hook Kaneki’s back, but Kaneki was too strong and held his ankles firmly in place as he worked his mouth.

“Ken- _please_ -” This wasn’t what Hideyoshi had been expecting at all. He wanted to touch his lover, but his lover was still fully clothed. It wasn’t that he wasn’t enjoying this immensely; he just didn’t like such excessive attention without being able to return it.

Hide tugged on Kaneki’s hair to pull him up, and his lover obeyed. Hide watched as Ken’s lips parted slowly from his length leaving a trail of precum and saliva connecting Kaneki with his deed until he raised his head high enough that the trail broke.

Hide was a beautiful shade of red as he watched the scene. His lover let go of his ankles and bent his elbows so that his chin rested in his palms again and he smiled up at Hide, satisfied, lazy, and waiting.

“T-take off your clothes, man. I’m clearly at a disadvantage here.” Hide sputtered as he watched Ken’s smile curve even more. Instead of obeying, staying between his legs, Kaneki turned to lay on his back, letting his head rest flat on the tatami floor just below Hide’s erect member. His view was strange and a little bit gross, but he knew it would bring the expressions he wanted to his lover’s face.

“Shit-Ken-you-” Hide knew exactly what was going on here, but he couldn’t keep himself from watching Kaneki smile as his length quivered above him. How could someone so dominating still appear cute? What the hell?

He couldn’t take it, “Damn it-” The blonde lunged forward and pulled Kaneki up by the shirt, hands quick to move below the hem and pull the whole thing off. Kaneki let it happen, but as Hide reached around to unfasten Kaneki’s slacks, Kaneki’s hands covered his, and he turned his head, level with Hide’s and eyes now serious and filled with desire, he kissed him fully. The kiss continued, passionately, until both of them had to break for air. Breathing heavily, Hide moved his hands to Ken’s shoulders and turned him around so that they were facing one another. As soon as they were, Kaneki went in for another kiss, and as they held it, tongues desperate to fully connect, Hide was finally able to begin removing the last articles of clothing from Ken. When they broke from the kiss, both naked and pressing into one another, each of them stared into the other’s eyes.

Two weeks.

This was real. This had been reality for two weeks, but it still felt like a dream. For Hide, who had always wanted this, it was nothing short of a miracle. For Kaneki, who had only realized happiness was even possible for him two short weeks ago, it was his lifeblood. He realized now that Hide wasn’t just the person he most wanted to protect; protecting Hide meant protecting happiness itself. It meant protecting Kaneki’s own life, too. They had always been connected in this way. It had taken Kaneki so long to realize that, but now that he had that, there was much less to be concerned over.

Having this intimacy with the one he loved- being able to trust the one he loved with every insecurity; this is what would make him whole, finally. This is what would give him more than direction or confidence or safety.

Neither of them said a word. They didn’t need to. They understood that they were both thinking it. They loved each other, and they trusted each other enough to know that

Hide kissed Kaneki again, affectionately, sweetly, once on the lips.

Kaneki only smirked back, “I want to try it.”

“It?” Hide’s eyes also became a shade darker when he was hungry with lust, but somehow they also sparkled which was something Kaneki’s never managed to do. Where did that light come from?

“Sixty-nine.”

Hide snorted, his eyes catching more of a sparkle. “Okay, Ken, let’s try it.”

“Don’t make fun of me!”

Hide had never actually done so and may have embellished his prior experience, but he took what he could sometimes to have the upper hand with Kaneki, if only because it resulted in such adorable reactions as the one he was seeing now. “Oh, I’m not,” he responded playfully as he pressed himself against Kaneki before pushing him down onto the tatami. Hide leaned over him and licked Kaenki’s right earlobe before biting and whispering, “Let me show you how it’s done.”

Instead of getting into position, however, the blonde’s hands began rake up his lover’s chest and then down his arms so that their fingers intertwined. Leaving a trail of kisses as he made his way to his lover’s length, Hide never separated their hands, so his elbows pressed Ken’s thighs apart to expose Ken fully. Unceremoniously, Hide worked his mouth around Kaneki and as he tasted more of him, he took him further into mouth and throat.

Kaneki sat up a bit, having the strength and balance in his abs to do so so that he could watch. He never wanted to take his eyes off of Hide, even as he had him in his mouth. He wanted to break Hide’s grip so that he could sink his fingers in Hide’s soft hair and press him further, and he could have easily, but Hide’s grip was something Ken figured was also a sentimental gesture, so he restrained himself on Hide’s behalf.

As Hide took him further, he let out a loud moan, and a growl that he had already used several times that evening but that said everything, “ _Hide_.”

It was Hide’s turn to look up from his work with red lips and smile, though his lacked the mischief that Kaneki’s had. If anything, he just looked pleased and satisfied, the sparkle still in his eye. He let go of Ken’s hands to move up and rub the two of them together.

After a kiss and a look, Hide moved his hips and positioned himself so that he could take Kaneki in his mouth. Instead of doing so, he licked the head and pressed on the tip forcefully with his tongue.

When he felt Kaneki mimic the action, albeit with a much greater force, he moaned impatiently. Losing control, he took Kaneki’s whole length into his mouth and began to move up and down his length.

What happened next was certainly something he didn’t expect. Hide felt Kaneki’s hands on either sides of his hips, and with his own strength, he lifted Hide’s hips and then brought them down, thrusting Hide’s length into his mouth.

Shocked, Hide accidentally grazed his teeth along sensitive tissue eliciting a cry from Kaneki, “Ahh-!” Hide felt his hips lifted again and he bent his knees so he could look at Kaenki apologetically, though technically it was his fault for surprising him like that. What he saw wasn’t anger, but desperation. Kaneki’s eyes were _begging_ him to continue. _You liked that?_ There was only one way to find out. Hide managed to tear his eyes away from his lover’s desperate expression to take him in his mouth again, very carefully using his teeth.

A hiss arose form Kaneki and Hide felt his hips rise to eagerly fall deeper into Hide’s throat, “ _Ah-Hide- yes_ -”

Was his skin tougher even here? Hide continued to dive up and down using his teeth, and he felt Kaneki squirm below him. Kaneki hissed and gasped and whispered Hide’s name. He had only been so vocal a few times. Well, if Ken liked it, Hide could get used to providing it for him.

Hands went to Hide’s hips once more, and, this time, Hide relaxed his legs, ready for what Kaneki had in mind. He had to be really careful with what he was doing if Kaneki was going to be in complete control of his lower half. The blonde’s breathing hitched as Kaneki took him deep into his throat.

The two continued pleasuring the other, and it was only seconds before Kaneki came in Hide’s mouth and as Hide licked him somewhat clean, Kaneki’s tongue teased him. By Kaneki’s strength, Hide was slammed back into his lover’s mouth. Hide hissed and pulled his knees up to steady himself. Guessing he was close, Kaneki let go of his hips and one hand reached around to grab at his ass while the other gripped the base of his shaft to lead Hide back into his mouth. With a groan, Hide came, and Ken swallowed the taste, not terribly affected by it. It was salty, but it wasn’t terrible.

They were both breathing heavily, trying to catch their breath when Hide pulled away and returned to hold Kaneki in his arms, burying his face in white hair and pressing him flush against his body feeling that each of them were still trembling. They laid together, catching their breath, indulging in the sinful smells that surrounded them as their bodies slowly relaxed together.

When they had both calmed down, Hide whispered, “That really didn’t hurt?” His teeth.

“No. It was perfect,” Kaneki responded bluntly as if the question was absurd. Kaneki couldn’t see Hide’s expression, but he could imagine it well enough.

Hide buried his nose in Ken’s white hair again. The trauma of regaining his memories had turned his hair completely white again as if simply remembering meant he had experienced the torture all over again. Kaneki had mentioned wanting to dye it, but they hadn’t gotten around to it yet. Brown was a safe color, but Kaneki had crinkled his nose at that. He really had changed in that regard. There was a silence until a grumble erupted softly from Kaneki, bringing a blush to his face.

“You have to eat at some point.” It was the first time that Hide had heard it since their time together in the little apartment. He didn’t really know how to bring the subject up, so he was grateful that Kaneki’s appetite had done so itself . . . thankfully in the most harmless of ways.

Kaneki’s blush began to fade, and he was quiet as the question of food brought him back to his reality. Their life would never be safe. Their life would never be simple. But it was theirs, at least. A life they could share.

“I know.”

Judging from Kaneki’s tone, he didn’t want to discuss it, but Hide pressed anyway.

“I’m coming.” He had to make that clear.

Kaneki hated the idea, but he knew that it was Hide’s choice. Hide wanted to shoulder everything Ken did. The half-ghoul knew that if there had been a possibility for Hide to share in his torture by Yamori, he would have, _even if his fingers didn’t grow back_. That was who Hide was; that’s what he wanted to be for Kaneki.

“I know,” he replied, defeated.

Hide bit his ear in playful punishment, “Good.” Hide propped himself up and turned Kaneki’s face to look at him. The black sclera was still visible and Hide kissed the corner of his eye affectionately before smiling down at him. The overhead lamp was creating an aura around his head and Kaneki looked away to roll his eyes before smiling.

How long would paradise last?

<><><><><><><><><> 

A month later / Six Weeks after Leaving the CCG / Six Weeks until the Interview

<><><><><><><><><> 

Kaneki pulled out of the kiss suddenly and coughed violently for a moment before glaring back up at his lover. He coughed once-twice-a last time. _Disgusting._

“You okay, man? You’re reminding me a little bit of our last night of horror at Big Mamma’s.” It was a reference to something that had happened nearly four years prior. Sometimes, Hide would throw these references to memories out at Kaneki to test him in a way- or rather, to test what memories he’d retrieved and which would be lost forever thanks to the CCG.

Kaneki didn’t respond to it, “What did you eat, Hide?!” Gods, it tasted awful. Why didn’t Hide brush his teeth? Kaneki thought he might gag just from the taste in Hide’s mouth alone. He was well aware that Hide was playing this “memory” game with him from time to time. In all honesty, it was nice, because he understood about seventy percent of the time. Sure, losing thirty percent of the time meant that around thirty prevent of his memories as a human had been lost, but it was okay; he had thought there was more that had been lost forever.

“I didn’t eat anything- damn.” What was with the attitude? “I had some green tea about five minutes ago.”

“Green tea.” Kaneki could remember drinking it almost every day, especially during his childhood.

“Yeah.”

“Green tea?” It tasted that awful?

“Yup.”

“It’s disgusting! How do you drink that stuff? How did I ever drink that stuff?!”

“Ken, you’re overreacting.” Green tea was a staple in Japanese life; if you didn’t taste it from drinking it in a restaurant, you smelled it.

“Hide, I think you’re trying to torture me. You don’t want me to kiss you anymore so now your new drink of choice is green tea rather than coffee.” Kaneki took on the playfulness he had developed in his years as Haise.

Hide actually burst out laughing from how ridiculous and how cute the comment had been, “You caught me!” He thanked the stars that Ken could still smile like this. Too bad he was completely ignorant to the fact that it was mostly in thanks to himself.

“Hide, I’m going to kiss you until you pass out.” It was an attempted threat, but it had no edge to it at all.

“Not if I drink green tea, you won’t,” Hide countered.

“ . . .” Ken couldn’t argue with that.

“ . . . Point proved. You just want me for my body.” Hide smirked and even struck a pose.

“Go brush your teeth.” The Sasarious had arrived, and Ken attempted a glare as his eyes turned to slits.

This had no effect on Hide, “Eeewwww. Don’t wanna. Then you’ll try to kiss me.”

“Hideyoshi Nagachika, if you don’t go brush your teeth right now-”

“What will you do, _Mom_? Ground me? No sex for a whole three days? A whole week? Whatever will I do?” For dramatic effect and just to continue raising new expressions from Kaneki, Hide pressed the palms of his hands to his cheeks in a play of despair and opened his mouth in an “O” of horror as though he were a famous painting.

Since the two had left the CCG and started their life together, they hadn’t gone more than 24 hours without sex. It was all Kaneki’s fault; he was reaching addict territory. No, he was past it. Though he never actually complained about Ken’s newfound pleasures, Hide particularly enjoyed teasing him about it.

Kaneki lost his glare and just dead-panned. Oh no, Hide was not going to win this battle. He didn’t know what it was like to kiss someone who tasted like they’d just eaten leaves and twigs they’d gathered during a leisurely stroll through the park!

“No, but I will certainly _make_ you regret it _later_ ,” Kaneki emphasized later, clearly inferring the bedroom, especially with that smirk he had donned on that ridiculously angelic face of his.

“As hot as you are when you wear that cocky little smirk, I’m not going anywhere. Unlike you, I have complete control over my sex drive.” Hideyoshi folded and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

Kaneki. Just. Smiled.

 _Wait-a-minute._ “That wasn’t a challenge.” _Crap._

“No, I think it was.”

“Hahaha, like you could manage-” _Shit._

Ken was on him suddenly, lips pressed to Hide’s neck before nipping at the skin hard enough to hurt but not to draw blood.

“Ken, I-” Words swallowed by a hungry and violent closed-mouthed kiss, Hideyoshi fell backwards something catching him and slipping away to leave him pinned to tatami by a self-confident half-ghoul wearing a lascivious little smirk.

Kaneki was straddling him and his left hand pressed into Hide’s shoulder to pin him in place. He brought his right hand to his mouth, and parting his lips slightly, Ken moved his index finger downward across his lips seductively, letting the tip catch his lower lip to reveal the wet pink flesh. He then traced his lower lip with his thumb, slipping it into his own mouth slowly before pulling it out and repeating the same motion on his lover, thumb slipping into Hide’s mouth easily warm and wet. “So, you think you have complete control? . . . I’m going to make you cum without even kissing you.” Kaneki’s eyes were dark as he pulled his thumb up from Hide’s mouth, traced Hide’s lips with his own saliva, and then pressed it back in again suggestively.

Their eyes had locked. Kaneki had a plan.

Hide’s tongue circled around Kaneki’s thumb until he pushed it out of his mouth to speak, “Okay.”

Kaneki’s plan didn’t involve this, and he just stared.

“This sounds like fun!” This was Hideyoshi being supportive. “C’mon, buddy, it’s not like I don’t want this, too,” Hide smiled with a look of joy that seemed as far from the mood Kaneki was trying to create as possible.

“ . . . .”

“Ken?”

Kaneki burst out laughing, “Hide, you idiot, I was trying to set the mood, you just-” his laughter continued, and Hide could only continue smiling. Moments where Kaneki laughed were like little victories Hide privately celebrated every time in his own mind.

“Well, yeah, I got that much, but I don’t see why we’d be on opposite sides if in the end we both want the same thing.”

“-But this is the part where we touch each other -without kissing- to see who gives in first.” Kaneki seemed very confident that this was a thing lovers did.

“What have you been reading lately?” Hide raised an eyebrow.

Kaneki slumped, “Only CCG files you so _graciously_ provide me.” Kaneki clearly did not enjoy such reading material.

Clearly, like Hide was finding two to three times a day, Kaneki was not motivated by his work,“You really think that you can outlast me?” He’d play along. Of course he would. In fact, it would take a lot of thinking on Hide’s part to figure out what he would ever tell Kaneki “no” for.

“Hey! I’ve gotten pretty good in the last month!” There it was again. Ken being adorable.

No, it had already been six weeks. They’d lived in this strange paradise a whole six weeks. Sex. Reading. Writing. Sleep. Sex. Coffee. Reading. Sex. Writing. Sex. Coffee. Sex. Sleep. Sex.

Hide’s smile became gentle. He had promised to make Ken happier than he had ever been in his life before, but really, he had done the same for himself. Was it considered selfish if you did everything for someone else only because your greatest happiness was seeing them happy?

“I know that smile now.” Kaneki was over Hide, still straddling him, and he was smiling back.

“What do you mean?” Rarely was Hide ever caught off guard, but this time, he couldn’t place what his lover meant.

Both hands were on Hide’s shoulders now, gently pinning him in place, “The one you wear when you’re thinking about me.”

Like lightening, Hideyoshi’s face was colored scarlet, “What?”

Kaneki adored when he was able to bring that expression to Hide’s face, “When you’re thinking of your love for me.” Kaneki blushed from his own words. Out loud, even if it was what he meant to say, they sounded completely ridiculous.

The ex-first class investigator was speechless. He was completely unaware that he wore a particular expression when thinking of Kaneki. Well, then.

“If only I could seduce you with my smile alone.”

Ken’s gray eyes moved to trace the other parts of his face and neck. , “ . . . _You do_ . . .” Kaneki was working on keeping a deeper blush from rising, “You think of me rather often.”

“Well, it’s only natural that I would think of-” _Wait a minute._ “Are you implying that your sex addiction is _my fault_?” Hide hadn’t moved. Why was this position so comfortable, being pinned down by his lover? Hm, likely because it meant he had his full attention.

“I’m not addicted.” His words were firm and his expression suddenly flat.

“So you say . . .”

“ _I’m not.”_

“Okay.”

“I’ll prove it.”

“So, we’re back on then?”

“Yes, Hideyoshi Nagachika, I challenge you to an abstinence from sex!”

Wait, that hadn’t been the original plan at all. Still, Hide couldn’t keep from laughing, “Okay, but I know I’ll just win so-”

“I’m serious.”

“Well, of course you are.” Still laughing.

Kaneki got up from on top of his lover, grabbed his laptop, and made a space for himself on the floor at the table so he could continue writing his book, his back facing his lover who was still giggling.

Hide missed the warmth, but he enjoyed how adorable Kaneki was being in this moment. Yes, this would be fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We’ll find out how that goes another time~ 
> 
> Augh, I really need to write the next chapter, but I’m only getting in like a paragraph a day. Why is it so hard to write Arima and Amon? /sob /come back to me plot
> 
> /Also, forgive me; I haven't written smut in forever.


End file.
